Hall Pass: Should I Allow Him to Cheat

Some of you may have read that title like, what?  But reality is, some women allow their men a pass to cheat on special occasions, like say, their birthday and they call it a Hall Pass.  What do you think about handing out a hall pass to your man?

Here's what I would have to say about it.  While I am not one to judge one's union, I feel that usually the hall pass is discriminatory.  As I explained above is normally allows the man to wander while you, the wife(y), sits at home waiting on him to finish up in the streets with some random.  How will that really make you feel when he's leaving the house to do heavens knows what with heaven knows whom?? Besides, that's just not fair in my book!  And while I am not one to claim women should have set the same parameters (in life) as a man, I am suggesting that something of this magnitude seems a bit one-sided.  If you're a man reading this article, ask yourself this, "why do I think I am the only one that might crave some variety?"  That in itself is part of the issue, wanting variety, wanting to scratch an itch, wanting to be greedy.  When you decide to settle down, shouldn't the taste for multiple flavors be greatly diminished? Otherwise, why are you settling? And that bit of desire that burns for adventure and excitement, shouldn't that be something that you and your significant other work to liven up together?

In Hollywood especially, we are beginning to hear a lot about the celebrities with open relationships and I must say, they seem to be working out "better" for them than traditional ones, but do we give persons in those type of roles different standards to live by?  I mean the average man isn't confronted with new challenges multiple times a day like the celebrity men are.  Also, an open relationship gives the hall pass to both parties, so it seems a bit more even keel, or does it?  Does it actually degrade the woman for even wanting someone outside of her beau? 

Personally, I think that when going into a relationship/ marriage, these things (much like a pre-nup) needs to be sorted through in the beginning.  Ultimately the decision is up to the both of you, but I urge you to think long and hard before you agree to a hall pass because once that door is opened, you cannot close it and once your heart and union is broken, your pass is as good as divorce papers.

Posted in: 5 love languages, 80/20 Rule, advice, askheatherg, code of conduct, open relationship, oprah's next chapter, r e l a t i o n s h i p s, relationships