Showing posts with label 5 love languages. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 5 love languages. Show all posts

3.04.2014

Hall Pass: Should I Allow Him to Cheat

Some of you may have read that title like, what?  But reality is, some women allow their men a pass to cheat on special occasions, like say, their birthday and they call it a Hall Pass.  What do you think about handing out a hall pass to your man?

Here's what I would have to say about it.  While I am not one to judge one's union, I feel that usually the hall pass is discriminatory.  As I explained above is normally allows the man to wander while you, the wife(y), sits at home waiting on him to finish up in the streets with some random.  How will that really make you feel when he's leaving the house to do heavens knows what with heaven knows whom?? Besides, that's just not fair in my book!  And while I am not one to claim women should have set the same parameters (in life) as a man, I am suggesting that something of this magnitude seems a bit one-sided.  If you're a man reading this article, ask yourself this, "why do I think I am the only one that might crave some variety?"  That in itself is part of the issue, wanting variety, wanting to scratch an itch, wanting to be greedy.  When you decide to settle down, shouldn't the taste for multiple flavors be greatly diminished? Otherwise, why are you settling? And that bit of desire that burns for adventure and excitement, shouldn't that be something that you and your significant other work to liven up together?

In Hollywood especially, we are beginning to hear a lot about the celebrities with open relationships and I must say, they seem to be working out "better" for them than traditional ones, but do we give persons in those type of roles different standards to live by?  I mean the average man isn't confronted with new challenges multiple times a day like the celebrity men are.  Also, an open relationship gives the hall pass to both parties, so it seems a bit more even keel, or does it?  Does it actually degrade the woman for even wanting someone outside of her beau? 

Personally, I think that when going into a relationship/ marriage, these things (much like a pre-nup) needs to be sorted through in the beginning.  Ultimately the decision is up to the both of you, but I urge you to think long and hard before you agree to a hall pass because once that door is opened, you cannot close it and once your heart and union is broken, your pass is as good as divorce papers.

4.04.2012

When In Doubt, Lie

Sounds bad to tell someone to lie right??? Hmmm... I'm not so sure. Let me explain.

Today I woke up with this story on my mind. I heard about this married woman who worked in the health care industry. Recently she had a male intern assigned to shadow her at the hospital where she did her daily routines. However, the woman realized she was compromising her marriage being that she was attracted to the handsome young intern and could tell he shared the same attraction. Being responsible, she had the intern moved to another wing of the hospital and resumed her work, alone.

Here's the part that bothers me; when she told her husband about the ordeal, her husband lost his mind. Sure, I can understand the fact that he was upset about her having such a strong attraction to another man, but it is unreasonable to think that our mates will NEVER find another person attractive. So, in this case, should she have omitted these details? I'm thinking so. Why should she have to endure the backlash of doing the right thing? I know a lot of you are probably saying that "you should always tell the truth," but let's be honest, should you... really... always?

If you notice, I said "omitted" above. Let's be clear... usually omissions are lies. Now I am not denying that they are useful sometimes (lol) and I am also not saying that an omission may merely be a slip of your mind, but... if you blatantly omit details in hopes of hiding or masking the truth, that, my dear, is a lie. In the scenario above, I respect her truth, but if it were me, I'd be apprehensive about ever telling my hubby the truth about situations like this. No one wants slack for doing the right thing.

Moral of the story, don't be so quick to jump down your partners throat when they tell you the truth about their life, issues and obstacles. Think it out. And if you are the one divulging the information, think twice before you do so. When in doubt... lie! *shrugs shoulders*

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