AskHeatherG
Recently I was “dating” this guy and seemingly, things were going pretty smooth. We both went into the situation with the agreement that we would hang out, talk, basically keep it simple. The idea was to build a friendship, a true friendship, with the goal that perhaps it would turn into more down the line. However, this plan was flawed.
From experience, I am telling you that it is nearly impossible to meet someone you have a mutual interest in and make the romance part stay at bay. It may work for awhile… maybe, but once the newness wears off, someone is going to want more. In my case, I wanted a friend. I wanted someone to show me that they genuinely cared about my well being, just as all of my friends demonstrate. I also wanted him to have the ability to later grow into more than a friend if we both felt that was right. For him, he wanted phase three (sex). The only problem is, he wanted phase three before even thinking about phase two (a relationship).
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that these circumstances cannot work for some, however, both people need to be on the same page and have a clear understanding. You see, I was under the impression that we were getting to know one another; that we would progress and things would naturally become a bit more serious. But much to my surprise, I was completely taken back when I was informed that phase two was not even an option… In my mind I’m thinking, “Excuse you?” LOL… Needless to say, that “friendship” abruptly stopped in the tracks.
I suppose the point of me offering this story is to tell you this; you can’t gauge love, a friendship, or anything that can potentially be of value. Just let things play its course. If you have certain stipulations, it is fair to express those concerns and boundaries, but to specify clear restraints is what hindered our situation and will most likely tarnish yours.
From experience, I am telling you that it is nearly impossible to meet someone you have a mutual interest in and make the romance part stay at bay. It may work for awhile… maybe, but once the newness wears off, someone is going to want more. In my case, I wanted a friend. I wanted someone to show me that they genuinely cared about my well being, just as all of my friends demonstrate. I also wanted him to have the ability to later grow into more than a friend if we both felt that was right. For him, he wanted phase three (sex). The only problem is, he wanted phase three before even thinking about phase two (a relationship).
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that these circumstances cannot work for some, however, both people need to be on the same page and have a clear understanding. You see, I was under the impression that we were getting to know one another; that we would progress and things would naturally become a bit more serious. But much to my surprise, I was completely taken back when I was informed that phase two was not even an option… In my mind I’m thinking, “Excuse you?” LOL… Needless to say, that “friendship” abruptly stopped in the tracks.
I suppose the point of me offering this story is to tell you this; you can’t gauge love, a friendship, or anything that can potentially be of value. Just let things play its course. If you have certain stipulations, it is fair to express those concerns and boundaries, but to specify clear restraints is what hindered our situation and will most likely tarnish yours.
Posted in: 
Posts
1 reactions:
What's up Miss G!
Yes, that plan was bound to fail.
From the very beginning the guy was telling a lie.
It sounds to me like you met this guy and although you were not instantly attracted to this dude.
You felt that he may have had some kind of potential.
Women sometimes believe in situations like this that they don't want to miss out on meeting a really good guy and having a chance at a relationship with a good dude. Even through they might not have instant chemistry.
In time this feeling will come.
Know don't get me wrong it can happen. But the chances of this happening is "dam" near slim to none.
The reality of it is this guy wanted to have a romantic relationship with you from the very beginning.
Which I can't blame him!
You are and attractive lady.
What I do have a problem with is his dishonesty.
Miss G you said the most dreaded words a man wants to her when he is pursuing a woman he desires.
That word is friendship.
No man wants to hear that.
But if it happens to a real man he is going to be as honest with his intentions toward you as you were with him.
Let's just use me for and example.
Okay I'll play the role of the "cornball".
I mean the gentlemen you were seeing.
Alright this is you speaking.
Now granted this would never happen because of the deep spiritual, and physical attraction you have for me.
Okay here we go.
Miss G: TJ although you are an incredible man.
I would really like for us to be friends to start. And later down the road if I do not meet the man who instantly lights my fire and you are still around.
We just may have a chance.
TJ: Miss G I respect your honesty and have to admit that although I too would like to develop a friendship with you as well. I cannot pretend that I'm not attracted to you.
Miss G you are an intelligent lady the kind of girl I would consider committing too.
But to be honest I already have more than enough friends.
Now after saying that I would let you know that I have no harsh feelings towards you.
I would then wish you well in life and hope that you find want you are looking for.
But it seems to me that this guy had a plan of his on. With his own time limit and once you went past that frame of time.
Are when he really realized that you were serious about the agreement.
His real intentions came to surface.
TJ,
http://watchheadz.com/
Post a Comment