AskHeatherG
Recently I was “dating” this guy and seemingly, things were going pretty smooth. We both went into the situation with the agreement that we would hang out, talk, basically keep it simple. The idea was to build a friendship, a true friendship, with the goal that perhaps it would turn into more down the line. However, this plan was flawed.
From experience, I am telling you that it is nearly impossible to meet someone you have a mutual interest in and make the romance part stay at bay. It may work for awhile… maybe, but once the newness wears off, someone is going to want more. In my case, I wanted a friend. I wanted someone to show me that they genuinely cared about my well being, just as all of my friends demonstrate. I also wanted him to have the ability to later grow into more than a friend if we both felt that was right. For him, he wanted phase three (sex). The only problem is, he wanted phase three before even thinking about phase two (a relationship).
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that these circumstances cannot work for some, however, both people need to be on the same page and have a clear understanding. You see, I was under the impression that we were getting to know one another; that we would progress and things would naturally become a bit more serious. But much to my surprise, I was completely taken back when I was informed that phase two was not even an option… In my mind I’m thinking, “Excuse you?” LOL… Needless to say, that “friendship” abruptly stopped in the tracks.
I suppose the point of me offering this story is to tell you this; you can’t gauge love, a friendship, or anything that can potentially be of value. Just let things play its course. If you have certain stipulations, it is fair to express those concerns and boundaries, but to specify clear restraints is what hindered our situation and will most likely tarnish yours.
From experience, I am telling you that it is nearly impossible to meet someone you have a mutual interest in and make the romance part stay at bay. It may work for awhile… maybe, but once the newness wears off, someone is going to want more. In my case, I wanted a friend. I wanted someone to show me that they genuinely cared about my well being, just as all of my friends demonstrate. I also wanted him to have the ability to later grow into more than a friend if we both felt that was right. For him, he wanted phase three (sex). The only problem is, he wanted phase three before even thinking about phase two (a relationship).
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that these circumstances cannot work for some, however, both people need to be on the same page and have a clear understanding. You see, I was under the impression that we were getting to know one another; that we would progress and things would naturally become a bit more serious. But much to my surprise, I was completely taken back when I was informed that phase two was not even an option… In my mind I’m thinking, “Excuse you?” LOL… Needless to say, that “friendship” abruptly stopped in the tracks.
I suppose the point of me offering this story is to tell you this; you can’t gauge love, a friendship, or anything that can potentially be of value. Just let things play its course. If you have certain stipulations, it is fair to express those concerns and boundaries, but to specify clear restraints is what hindered our situation and will most likely tarnish yours.
Posts
