The Code of Conduct for "Stay Over" Lovers

I was listening to the Kane Show yesterday morning and heard an interesting topic; The Code of Conduct for Stay Over Lovers. I thought it was interesting and decided to give my 2 cents, because, well… that’s what I do!

Over the years, more people are moving away from traditional relationships and opting for friends with benefits, if you will. If that is the case, the question is raised; what is the code of conduct for you as a stay over lover? For instance, do you have the grounds to say anything about how the house functions, its cleanliness, or how loud the neighbors are? Hmmm. Let’s explore some of the concerns of stay over lovers:

1. Are you entitled to a dresser drawer? No. That only comes with wifey or hubby status.

2. Can you use the DVR? Sure, you can use it, but do NOT delete anything. It may be ok to record a program if you are over so much that you are missing your television shows, but don’t tamper with the existing ones. That’s grounds for dismissal. LOL

3. Can you put your things in their laundry? Absolutely not. You may be stretching it to even use their washing machine. If you are merely a “friend” with benefits, there is no need to remotely move yourself in.

4. Can you dictate where their pets sleep? I’d say no, UNLESS the dog or cat is trying to sleep in the bed WITH you. Then you have the right to say, “Hell no!”

5. Can you complain about home décor (how to couch looks, the way the pictures are hung)? Again, this is something that a girlfriend or boyfriend would more so address. You can certainly say something, but it is no guarantee that a thing will change. Sorry, you’re just not that important.

6. Can you have a toothbrush in their bathroom? A toothbrush, maybe. All your other crap… absolutely not. Your lover will know you are trying to mark your territory and that totally defeats the benefits of having a carefree relationship. *tisk tisk*

7. Can I stay the night? Since you are actually a “friend,” I’d argue that actually staying the entire night is ok because you are a bit more than a booty call, but don’t wear out your welcome. Make sure you’re not lingering too long once the alarm sounds.

If these answers seem harsh to you, perhaps you should reconsider what it is you really want out of your “friend.” A true friend with benefits have very little or no rights over her lover and his/ her possessions. You are only entitled to have sex and go, simple as that. Know your place!

Posted in: code of conduct, Kane Show, love, love life, relationships, rules