Scandal: Should I Stay If He Strays

If you’re like me and the rest of America, you’re probably hooked on ABC’s Scandal.  Kerry Washington is such a dynamic woman both on screen and in real life, which is why we gasp when her character, Olivia Pope, is in trouble and cheer when she is victorious in helping her clients.  When it comes to Ms. Pope’s private affairs, we somehow seem to side with her as well, clutching our blankets when she and Fitz are face to face and secretly hoping they can make time for a quickie before “Mrs. Fitz” arrives.  I must admit, like you, I applaud this raunchy behavior (shame on me).  But shouldn’t we find it contrary that we despise cheating in real life, yet secretly hope for Olivia Pope and Fitz to be together on television?  I suppose it’s because we view Olivia being a “better candidate” for the President.  After all, we have formed this alliance with Ms. Pope that naturally encourages us to favor her, right? Or perhaps we merely enjoy the 15-second adrenaline rush it gives us to see them strip and push one another against the walls of the White House.. scandalous!  Is this reason enough for us to abandon our ideals of marriage and discard our beliefs in taking vows? This led me to think, is there ever a reason for a married man or woman to cheat?  Ha!  Of course not, too easy right!  But furthermore, is there ever a reason for one to stay with a cheater like Mellie “Mrs. Fitz” Grant has done?

Now I know some of you are wondering how in the world I could even ask such a thing, but this is an honest question; is there EVER a reason for one to stay once their spouse has strayed (I rhymed)? 

You’ll probably be surprised to hear my response, but here it is… in short, yes. Give me a second to explain.  There are so many layers to a relationship and although infidelity is wrong, people have far bigger issues than what appears on the surface.  Yes, cheating is wrong and a sin might a mind you, but we are human and as humans we sometimes make mistakes.  We are sometimes weak and we sometimes mess up especially when you throw issues in the mix like intimacy, children, finances, and plain ol’ contentment a.k.a. laziness.  People fall off the bandwagon and usually there’s some random ass Olivia Pope waiting in the wing. 

My best piece of advice actually comes from Actors Tisha Campbell- Martin and Duane Martin.  I recently saw an interview with them and they explained how they have stayed together over 17 years.  According to the Martins, you must first take time for yourself as husband and wife, because if you aren’t happy, no one is.  Now I’ll toast to that!

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Becoming a Beautiful Person

Beverly Hills is where I am at this very moment... sitting in a Starbucks inhaling the aroma of arabic beans and warm milk while watching the flow of people move up and down Beverly Blvd in their designer frames, shiny boots, perfectly pressed hair and sun kissed skin.  Yes, I am amongst the "beautiful people."  So I started to think; what makes us beautiful? Sure our outward appearance is important, but what makes us glow?  What draws the people closer to us?  What makes us magnetic?

Being that I am a strong believer in attracting the energy you exude, I know that people are drawn to confidence and positivity.  I have always seemed to have a way of connecting with people and it wasn't until recently that I truly understood why.  Let me explain how you can become a 'beautiful person,' but understand it is far more than the way you look.  Think about all the folks whom are outwardly unattractive according to societies standards, but always draw a crowd.  How do they do that?

The first step in being magnetic and irresistible in love, business, and friendships is letting your guard down.  We are so used to people judging us or perceiving us in such a way that we mask our true self.  That is the first thing that pushes people away, because you seem unreachable.  Learn to allow people in.  It is smart to be cautious, but do not block advancement.  Be open to new people... listen to what they have to say.  In the same way, be open to new ideas.  Be present.  When you allow yourself the opportunity to view things through other people's eyes, you sometimes find exactly what you are in need of and in return you absorb information that could be useful for others.  That's magical, the transference of ideas and thoughts; but more importantly, it is invaluable.

Being beautiful also means being positive.  You never want to be that 'downer' type of person.  We crave zest, which is why so many of us are hooked on caffeine, in search of that next joust of energy (but that's another conversation).  However it is possible to gain that from human interaction.   What I am saying is, be light, joyous and insightful.  You must be useful, offering as much as you take... understand?  Although you need information, always be in a position to offer something too even if it is only good conversation. 

There is so much more to cover, so stay tuned.  In the meantime, be beautiful!

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What's Your Life Purpose

Hey you... yes you! Do you know your life purpose? Do you know the reason you were created and the gifts and talents you are supposed to give to the world?

If you are like me, the answer is no, or not exactly.  There are so many things I am good at, yet, after a certain amount of time dedicated to them, I find myself bored of it and ready to move to the next exciting adventure.  For so long I thought that this was a horrible way to be.  I would wish and pray that the answer to my life's purpose would come to me so that I could find that one thing to focus on.  That way, I'd be "normal," you know... just like everyone else.  Well, over the course of a couple weeks now, I am realizing that I am not at all normal by western standards anyway, and that trying to put myself in a box will only slowly stifle my creativity.  So now I am at the point where I have to find and hone a profession or hobby that will allow me to fully express the very essence of me.  I am wondering if there is such a way to funnel all of your dreams, thoughts and creativity through one focus.

I know I am not alone in this journey as I see all the Facebook and Instagram quotes on a daily basis talking about "dreaded Mondays" and the people, like me, that are merely living in glorified misery for the sake of being "responsible."  I advocate being a person to stand up and handle your business, but I do not advocate living hopelessly only to go home, watch reality tv and tell everyone how if you had a reality tv show it would be so good because your life is so "cray." One way or the other, if you are not happy, find your passion or purpose instead of watching others live theirs.  We have to stop watching other people's lives through gossip sites, instagram, and NOT so reality tv.

I must admit, I am still uncovering the ways to do that (because right now I have little idea), but everyday I am getting closer.  If I can help anyone of you find your way, I intend to do so... continue to check back over the weeks as I explain some techniques that are helping me unveil the things life has in store for me.  Hopefully my story will help you write yours.

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