Love is Blind, or is it?

They say that love is blind because so many of us have trusted our heart to unworthy madness, but is love truly blind or is an individual misfortune? In a world full of options, i.e. people from various ethnicities, cultures and backgrounds; how is it fair to make such a bold accusation? I would like to go on record as saying that I do not believe love is blind. In fact, I see love as being clear and concise. It is infatuation and lust that blurs our vision and is mistaken for love. Perhaps the very reason there are so many broken hearts. People do not take their time to get to know one another before professing that they have found “the one.” In the end, they realize that they do not know this person they loved last week, but was taken by physical attributes; looks, sexual appeal, or sex itself.

When you truly love someone you know their heart. When you love someone you know what they are most likely to say before they say it. When you love someone, you understand their hardships and work to pull through them. When that love is tampered with, most likely trust and respect have been broken, but that does not equate to love being lost or blind. I think the reason so many people have accepted the quote “Love is Blind,” is because they have seen people go through massive heartache and pain all in the name of” love,” but in my eyes, that is perhaps the very reason love is visible. That is not to say that you should be a fool forever, but in a situation where love is true, you work things out. Anyone is liable to make a mistake, but it is how you make it right that counts.

But I know I still have readers that may disagree with me. “What about the circumstances where a woman, for example, stands by while her man goes out and constantly cheats on her or maybe he beats her, but she stays, etc? Certainly she is blinded by love!” Uh, no, because that is not love, that is a combination of manipulation and low self- esteem! Love is not one-sided. Love is a two-way street; both people have to be on board. You cannot think you are in love with someone that does not respect you, period.

So I ask again, is love really blind or have we confused ourselves? You be the judge.

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Men, Respect & Sex

Ladies, I am going to let you in on a little secret… some men are awful, just awful...

What the hell is wrong with them? LOL… I love/hate them to death, but I swear men are so confusing... or maybe they're just that simple??? So let me see how I can go deep without getting heavy. Let’s talk about 2 major topics, Respect and Sex!

Respect: Men, what does it take for you to give a woman respect? Ok, the obvious response is, “to get respect you have to give it,” but what else does it require? Speaking from a woman’s perspective, I know that we like to be pampered and catered to, but doing those things for us does not equate to respect necessarily. Do men understand this? Do men think that because they can buy us dinner and material possessions that they are showing respect? Overall, I have had good experiences with dating. I feel I have been treated with respect and that I still have my dignity at the end of the evening. On the rare occasion that I felt otherwise, that man knew it long before he had a chance to make it right. However, I just need to know what goes on in the mind of men who feel that a woman is not worthy of respect. Help me to understand this! I must say that not all men are disrespectful (obviously), just as, not all women are worthy of respect, but is it because of some women being less than ladies, the reason men dispose of deserving women so easily?

Sex: Most of us have heard of Steve Harvey's book entitled, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. The one thing that really stood out in my mind was the fact that Steve actually put a specific number on the minimum amount of days a woman should wait before sleeping with a man… that number was 90 (3 months). I am neutral on this specific issue. I see the thought behind the waiting period. Women, we should know a man before we jump into bed with him... period, but is the magic number 90 days? I totally agree with the idea of knowing what you’re getting yourself into. However, what about the women who spend endless amounts of time with a man in a short time span? Does she use the same rules as a woman who may only see a man once a week? And what about a woman who may have known a man for years from afar, but only a mere couple of days intimately, does she wait? Could there really be a formula that fits the masses, 90 days, no exceptions? And say we all begin to wait 90 days, then what? Will men really respect you more JUST because you waited? Should there be a specific number on the amount of days a woman waits before a she goes there with a man she finds to be significant?

My advice on respect is to accept nothing less than you are worthy of. My advice on sex is to get to know a man before you lay down with him. It seems simple enough, but is it? Think with your brain in order to save yourself humiliation and hurt feelings! It is really that simple!

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So Many Options

Interestingly enough, I recently had a conversation with one of my girlfriends about people (men and women), who cheat. You see, most of us have had a relationship that just didn’t go as expected and basically, we… got… played. But why?

Back in the day, couples tried to work things out, but the rules got lost somewhere in the younger generations… we lost our way. What happened? I recalled a conversation I had with one of my male friends who said; as long as he had options, he was going to cheat. Wow. Options huh?! But these options, why are they available? The problem is, people are allowing outsiders into their situations and as we all know, outside people will not respect commitments, especially if they see that it is not a priority to you. What’s worse, the persons in relationships are not regarding their commitment either. This is the ultimate formula for failure. Here it is, 2009, and we have females running around, hopping in bed with anyone who offers them a hot meal or drives a slick car, we have men trying to see how many bodies they can “catch,” and the victims are sitting at home taking the abuse. What is going on? Are options really to blame? Seemingly so.

So how do you eliminate options? Most likely, you can’t. All you can do is set your standards and tolerate nothing less than that 7 letter word, R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Really get to know someone before you let them into your world. While there may be options in the streets, you need to make yourself the only option at home. Otherwise, Opt Out!

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