Scandal: Should I Stay If He Strays

If you’re like me and the rest of America, you’re probably hooked on ABC’s Scandal.  Kerry Washington is such a dynamic woman both on screen and in real life, which is why we gasp when her character, Olivia Pope, is in trouble and cheer when she is victorious in helping her clients.  When it comes to Ms. Pope’s private affairs, we somehow seem to side with her as well, clutching our blankets when she and Fitz are face to face and secretly hoping they can make time for a quickie before “Mrs. Fitz” arrives.  I must admit, like you, I applaud this raunchy behavior (shame on me).  But shouldn’t we find it contrary that we despise cheating in real life, yet secretly hope for Olivia Pope and Fitz to be together on television?  I suppose it’s because we view Olivia being a “better candidate” for the President.  After all, we have formed this alliance with Ms. Pope that naturally encourages us to favor her, right? Or perhaps we merely enjoy the 15-second adrenaline rush it gives us to see them strip and push one another against the walls of the White House.. scandalous!  Is this reason enough for us to abandon our ideals of marriage and discard our beliefs in taking vows? This led me to think, is there ever a reason for a married man or woman to cheat?  Ha!  Of course not, too easy right!  But furthermore, is there ever a reason for one to stay with a cheater like Mellie “Mrs. Fitz” Grant has done?

Now I know some of you are wondering how in the world I could even ask such a thing, but this is an honest question; is there EVER a reason for one to stay once their spouse has strayed (I rhymed)? 

You’ll probably be surprised to hear my response, but here it is… in short, yes. Give me a second to explain.  There are so many layers to a relationship and although infidelity is wrong, people have far bigger issues than what appears on the surface.  Yes, cheating is wrong and a sin might a mind you, but we are human and as humans we sometimes make mistakes.  We are sometimes weak and we sometimes mess up especially when you throw issues in the mix like intimacy, children, finances, and plain ol’ contentment a.k.a. laziness.  People fall off the bandwagon and usually there’s some random ass Olivia Pope waiting in the wing. 

My best piece of advice actually comes from Actors Tisha Campbell- Martin and Duane Martin.  I recently saw an interview with them and they explained how they have stayed together over 17 years.  According to the Martins, you must first take time for yourself as husband and wife, because if you aren’t happy, no one is.  Now I’ll toast to that!

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Lady Gaga Inspired Me

Watching Oprah's Next Chapter with Lady Gaga and I must say... Lady Gaga has inspired me! I have always taken a liking to Gaga, but I am not sure why this interview with Oprah struck such a nerve.

When Gaga was asked about her personality, she referred to herself as "a lot of people" and I totally understand her, even more, I relate to her. I feel the same way about myself; strong, calm, controversial, angry, giving, loving, freakish, and maybe even lousy at times. At one point I began to think, "is it just me" that had thoughts like this? It was refreshing to hear a megastar seem so relate-able. Since I was a little girl, my mother always told me I had four personalities. She'd say "Girl, you're a Gemini if ever I've seen one!" That was her way of saying that I was flip-floppy... Heather one minute, but Ms. G the next! In her eyes, I was the type of person that you'd never know what you were going to get. It seemed so wrong back then, like something was "off" with me, but as I matured, I realized it was interesting. Sometimes I feel like a first lady and other times I feel like a ladykiller, up for anything... but guess what, nothing's wrong with that!

"Sometimes I feel worthless." Stefani (Lady Gaga) said this with such conviction. Do you ever feel like that? I mean sure, we all want to show our independence and strength, but isn't vulnerability a part of being and finding wholeness? Without the pits, how do you find the peaks? So yes, Lady Gaga Inspired Me!!! She confirmed my flip-flop, never know what you are going to get, hi-low personality. She inspired me to be me, 100 percent, all the time!

Who's your inspiration?

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Boris Kodjoe & Nicole Ari Parker Talks Marriage (VIDEO)

Contrary to some of my previous post about dating potential, Boris Kodjoe tells us to date the person in front of us, NOT the potential. Of course I had to watch the interview posted on Essence.com to better understand this perspective, but I must say, I concur. Don't try to change anyone, we are who we are. Watch this interview done with Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe on marriage and "making it work."



How cute are they?! Guys, you better take note.. Boris just gave you the winning formula, pay attention! And ladies, Nicole basically told us to lighten up and spend our time doing the things that count, like cooking... no one cares if his boxers are neatly pressed and folded. Stop it! "Keep it simple!"

AHG wishes Nicole and Boris much love and happiness in the years to come. Keep us unmarried folk informed too!

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