Drama Free Life

Ladies, ever wonder why they call us "drama?"  Well, sad to say, but sometimes we are! LOL.  Now let me give this disclaimer up front; this is not to say men are without flaw (because we all know men, women... the human race is imperfect), but I am simply referring to what I know about my fellow women.

To fully understand, we have to take a trip down memory lane. From the time we were born, we were instilled with beliefs that was passed from generation to generation. Unbeknownst to us, we were absorbing the images we saw and holding onto the feelings we felt, good and bad.  Unconsciously this rendered us with beliefs on what we "wanted" or "did not want" for our lives.  Example, "I will never let a man talk to me like that,"  so you grew up believing you had to do the opposite of whatever your mother may have done when fighting with the male figure in her life, be it fighting physically or sometimes worst, with words.  The problem with this (and most any example I could think of) is it made us form invisible boundaries before we could even have true relationships of our own.  How is a lover suppose to embrace you fully if you have already guarded yourself from his love.  Furthermore, how are you suppose to trust if you are already ready for battle (i.e. failure)?  In other words, we have unintentionally began to chip away at our relationship before we have had a chance to bury the seed.

"But Heather, I'm open minded, I'm drama free... I don't confront anyone!" Well darn, sometimes that's even worse for a relationship.  There is a time and a place for uneasy conversations, but the fact that you don't express will leave a man feeling like you do not care. Never good!  They NEED to know you are for them and "in it" with them. This certainly doesn't mean you should be hostile or aggressive in your approach to address issues bothering you, but talking through situations allows growth within yourself and your relationship.  Most do not subscribe to this approach which unfortunately continues to forge a wedge in your relationship until it is ripped apart or severely broken. Most will fill their time with nagging and digging to try and validate whatever disagreement she is having with her beau.  But this is pointless.  First of all, do you even trust him?  If not, you should have already moved on, but if you do, isn't that enough to believe in? Now don't put your proverbial blinders on, but if you are in it together, truly, then let go of the drama because it is only imposing stress on all involved.  In fact, it is deepening your doubts of true love and happiness and it taking a toll on your personal growth, so a relationship... what relationship?  How can there be one if you don't even have a healthy one with "Team Y-O-U?"

The secret? Turn your doubts and frustration into celebration. Learn and love yourself.  Be whole before you allow another in.  Live fully and fulfilled you will be!  

Posted in: r e l a t i o n s h i p s, relationships