The Prince & the Pauper

Hey you… yea you! Are you still holding on to that 50 point checklist? I you know some of us have that ridiculous list that we use a guideline to determine what we want from a man: how he should look, what he should say, and the figure that should be on his W-2’s every year. But have you ever considered that you’re expecting too much? I will be the first one to say, set a high standard because women, WE ARE special, but have you ever asked yourself, “Am I being reasonable?”

Let’s analyze this.

Say it is a Thursday night. You get dolled up and head over to the lounge you frequent on most weekends. Tonight you spot a hottie at the bar and decide to give him a little eye action… yes, I said “eye action,” you know, cutting your eye flirtatiously while luring him in with your body language. He finally comes over and to your surprise, the evening goes extremely well. You’re feeling him at this point, but once you start dating him over the next couple weeks, you figure out that, while he is financially OK, it is not to the degree you pictured your man to be. So you have to make a decision as to whether you’re going to look at the glass half empty or half full.

Let us understand something though! Simply because you find a man with the financial backing, does not mean you have a full glass. Nearly everyone comes with some glitch, baggage, or BS, but it is up to you to decide what you are willing to accept; which leads me to ask, is it fair to dismiss potential?

I say, take a look at you! Have you ever thought that perhaps you aren’t to a man’s standard, his “checklist?” Sure you look good, smell sweet, and hang a dress like nobody’s business, but is that enough? What do you have to bring to the table? I will be the first to say that I think every man should be able to take care of his home. Financials are beyond important, and while I always want to have my own, I DO believe a man should have it covered should I need to be immobile due to let’s say…. maternity leave (I’m just saying). But… does that mean you offer nothing in return? Can you cook, do you clean, are you able to help your future children with their homework, can you pay a bill if need be, are you smart enough to stimulate his mind, do you make it easy for him to make a salary worthy of your approval? Now think about that before you pass on your next potential Prince! Remember, a Prince in training will someday be King!

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Dating Potential

Why is it that we never really take the time to sit down and weigh our expectations of the criteria we expect in our mate? Here it is, this endless checklist… but without substantial logic to back it up. Does a checklist with no real meaning besides wants for an ideal really worth its time and effort? So what a man does not drive a Bentley Coupe and own real estate in Miami, California and Nevada; does this make him a catch? Of course I would never suggest you throw away your standards. Everyone should have standards that a man or woman must meet, but the details (i.e. the amount of money in the bank, the type of shoes he wears, the places he has traveled) should not stop you from seeing his potential. What is potential to you? And once you find potential, can you date him?

First, let’s first define potential. In my opinion, potential is a man that is working hard at his current level, but striving for the better things in life (obviously, everyone’s perception of better is different, but overall, living comfortably). He has goals, dreams and the know how to make it work for his future. Potential may not have money in the bank today, but if he is not lazy and possess drive, you know it will only be a matter of time. Potential may not be able to take you to Barney’s to buy those Louboutin’s or even take you to Maggiano’s for dinner, but if he owns all the traits a good man holds, is it too much for you to wait? Ladies are we above our First Lady, Michelle Obama, who waited on her prince? Perhaps, we could all learn a lesson from her. That lesson being, if you find a man that treats you well, puts you on a pedestal and understands life in general, you may have a keeper.

To be clear, not every man with little assets is potential. And I am not saying give every Tom, Dick and Harry a chance, because let’s face it; “dogs” come in all shapes, colors, status and size. However, if you so happen to meet someone that makes you feel good and show you how you should be treated, feel him out.

My advice would be to look at your past, your present and where you are headed. Have things worked out with the “ballers” you dated. If you have dated a man with little status, was he really potential? After you evaluate your personal situation, you will be better able to assess your ability to date a man based on potential. Who knows, you may just find your Barack Obama!

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